omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
