his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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