just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize