yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
