I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
