$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
