That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
where am i from again
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
