tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize