I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
