I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
