We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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