You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize