Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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