He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
