Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
