We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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