ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
