Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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