we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
A+ Viking dick
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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