oh god the rape fog is back!
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
