K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
