OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
