so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
