She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
