just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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