i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
