He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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