Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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