our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
