forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
