I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I cannot find my penis.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
