Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
