and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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