come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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