During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
