You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
It's Friday. Sex?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
