12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
