Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize