I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
