you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I think a kid would responsible me up
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
