cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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