check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
