and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
