I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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