I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
