I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
no you cant smoke seaweed
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
