thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
