It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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