Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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