he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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