love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
