Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
