also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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