how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
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