I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
My penis needs a shock collar
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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