Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
