It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Randomize
