i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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