We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
organizing the empties. That sober.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
